The sky had the orange haze of sunset all day. The smell of smoke continues to fill the air and penetrate my apartment walls. A lot of people lost their homes today.

I had planned to walk to the park, but was advised by an area meteorologist not to. She was concerned about the air quality.

It's been a while since I've been to the park. In fact, I believe the last time I made it up there was just before the park officially reopened following its own fire.

Rain would be nice.

Disaster Strikes!!!

I'm not very good at smiling, particularly when it comes to smiling for photographs. It's not that I'm incapable of smiling properly, it's just that I can't do so without constant rehearsal. It's something I have to be dilligent about, which means being careful not to pass any mirror or reflective surface without taking the opportunity to improve. I have to do this. Because if I don't, and someone asks to have their photo taken with me, chances are things won't turn out well. Things will be disasterous....

More From The 2008 West Hollywood Halloween Carnaval

2008 West Hollywood Halloween Carnaval

National Train Day Recap

I love trains. There's just something about them that I find endlessly fascinating. Excluding Metrorail trips and themepark imitations, I'm not sure that I've ever actually been on a train. Maybe as a child, I don't remember. Still, there's something inside of me that's always been drawn to trains and train tracks.

So when I found out there was going to be a National Train Day, a day to celebrate all things choo-choo, I knew I had to go.

While I appreciate the effort, I must say the first ever National Train Day was a let down.

To a gathering of roughly thirty people (inside a room that could safely fit 800), this man exclaimed, 'It looks like there's a fever for passenger rail!' Soon after, he paused. And I could feel his emptiness.

Come on, people. Haven't you heard? It's National Train Day!

Meet ARTE. ARTE is Amtrak's pitiful attempt at a mascot. ARTE is apparently a leaf that came to rest on a railroad track, and was promoted to engineer. Clearly a depressive, ARTE's boomerang-shaped smile does little to hide the hard reality in those foggy, tear-stained eyes. This is the last known photograph of ARTE alive.

So this is where the party's at.

The highlight of my day was gifted to me by this man (yes, the one in the conductor's cap). Keep in mind this man has no affiliation or authority within the Metrorail system. He is simply someone who had made the same starry-eyed pilgrimage as I. Someone who no doubt found himself worn thin from a long day of disappointment.

Things were already ripe for dissidence as the trains were running late. You could feel the hostility in the air, though things still smelled rather pleasant (sort of a mix between crisp newsprint and freshly-popped popcorn).

As the subway train came into the station, electronic displays on the outside of it read that the train was 'not in service.' Soon the train came to a stop, and its passengers emptied out. Once the last person stepped off, that's when captain dress-up went into action.

Dealing with the filthy psychological residue of a National Trail Day gone wrong, he decided to take it upon himself to enforce the 'not in service' signs and block one of the train's entrances (even though people were clearly getting on through all the other doors).

'What the fuck are you doing?' 'Get out of the way!'

"The sign says 'not in service.' We're not supposed to get on."

Things were on the verge of getting out of control (notice the lady with her hand up), and yet he remained there, standing firm, doing his part to uphold and protect the only true love he's ever had. That's when the signs changed from 'not in service' to 'Red Line/North Hollywood' and he felt like an ass.

As Close As I Could Get

The Flight of the Conchords (probably the two people in the world I'd most like to be), as seen through the front window of Amoeba Records. Why, oh why was the show time moved up an hour???